I think I should say that I'm not posting here anymore. I'm switching to the other site. It's time to change the Xanga with the rest of everything else. A new season, a new perspective on life, a new feeling of happiness, and a new Xanga reflecting all of that. I'm not closing this down, but I'm not writing in it anymore. I've had my ups and downs and this has helped me figure a lot of things out, but like I said, it's time for a change. <3

-amylamoine

LYRICS:

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
        --Iris by the goo goo dolls ((For old times sake, and once more emphasizing that if you don't think of me when you hear this, then something's wrong. Seriously, though. This is me, and this is farewell. <3))

Another slow day, I'm afraid. Nothing extraordinarily interesting happened, or at least not that I'm remembering. Theatre was so boring....AGAIN. I think it's just because a decent percentage of our class is somewhat unmotivated and don't feel like settling down and accomplishing anything. History was long and made me want to sleep. Lunch was amusing, as usual. Pre-Cal was insanely boring. We took a quiz and then had the rest of the period to do the review. I finished everything with about half an hour to spare. *Shakes head* It made me want to sleep, too, but I decided to get some reading done on Jane Eyre. Yay for the Amy and her being somewhat productive in her utilization of time!!  Um, yeah, moving on now. ACK!!!! We've officially started Kafka's The Metamorphosis and I'm not really liking that one at all. I mean, we're looking at all of these existentialist ideas found in the first....9 pages? Actually 6, I think. What if Kafka didn't really want us to pick apart his novella to find these warped, absurdist thoughts? What if he just wanted to write a book about a guy waking up as a bug? Has anyone thought of this?! Oh well. I'm just complaining because I'm tired and The Metamorphosis isn't my preferred book to be reading. *Shrugs*

English was interesting, though, because we got to share some of our dreams. I was going to share this one about....Well, I'm not going into it, but I was going to, but then I realized A) It was too long to talk about and B) It brought back the initial chills I had when I first woke up from it. So yeah, I'm not I've told many people about it. I know I told one person the morning after I had it, but other than that, I don't know if I've talked about it. I really want to know if it has a meaning, though. Do you guys believe in dreams having meanings? I went through this whole stage where I wanted to analyze all of my dreams, but I gave it up, and now this single class lesson has made me want to pick that back up. And who knows, maybe I will.

After school was GREAT. Hooray for 15 minute conversations about Disney movies and how much we hate that Disney closed down their 2-D studio. It was so much fun. David & Maryanne are such awesome kids!! Yay friends!! Now, not only are they my "Dancing-in-the-Rain" buddies, but they're my "Disney-movie-Discussions-about-Everything" buddies, too. *Cough.* Anyways.

So far this week has been fairly easy, but I'm thinking that that's all going to change about Thursday if not tomorrow. Seriously. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are all completely consumed with CRAP and I really hate that. Band really gets me down sometimes, you know? Oh well. I guess I asked for this, didn't I? And everything will be alright in the end, because that's just how it goes. I'm sure that I'll end up saying, "Oh wow. That wasn't as bad as I thought. I should learn to stop exaggerating so much. Classes, games, and Contests are actually really fun." Or something like that. ....Hopefully.

Hm, so I'm definitely bringing myself down, so we're going to get off of that subject. I think I'm going to go lay down for a little bit; I'm very worn out so far this week, and it's only Tuesday!! Anyhoo, ttfn, lovelies. <3

-amylamoine

LYRICS:

They read you Cinderella
You hoped it would come true
That one day your prince charming would come rescue you
You like romantic movies
And you never will forget
The way it felt when Romeo kissed Juliet
And all this time that you've been waiting
You don't have to wait no more

I can love you like that
I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance, I can love you like that

I never make a promise
I don't intend to keep
So when I say forever
Forever's what I mean
I'm no Casanova
But I swear this much is true,
I'll be holding nothing back
When it comes to you
You dream of love that's everlasting
Well baby open up your eyes...

I can love you like that
I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance, I can love you like that

If you want tenderness
I've got tenderness
And I see through to the heart of you
If you want a man
Who will understand
You don't have to look very far

I can love you, girl I can (I can love you love you)
Oh baby oh...
I can love you like that
I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
I can love you like that
I can make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
My heart my heart my world
Show you you're everything (you're everything to me)
Love you like that
I can make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
My heart my heart my world
Show you you're everything
        --I Can Love You Like That by All-4-One ((It came on the radio; I love this song!!))

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
I still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
        --Home by Michael Buble

I miss you. <3

Currently Watching Beauty and the Beast (Disney) By Robby Benson, Paige O'Hara see related

To start off with, today is the lovely Adrienne Hallemeier's 17th birthday. Happy Birthday, pretty girl!! I've known you for 13 years and you're such a beautiful person. I love you!!

Other than that, my day was REALLY slow!! I was so tired throughout the day and would've given just about anything to have been able to sleep the day away. But oh well, such is life. School wasn't bad, so that was good. It was actually a pretty decent Monday. I didn't have any homework, which gave me the opportunity to sleep for an hour and a half or so at the insistance of a friend. Apparently I didn't sound very awake on the phone. *Shrugs*

On the way home today, I had the radio on 106.1 ((KVIL was on commecials and none of the other stations were playing anything good)) and this song started playing. I reached out to turn the station, but stopped when I recognized the intro. I wasn't sure exactly what song it was, but I knew that I'd heard it before, and it turned out to be U Got it Bad--the song I first danced to and something I haven't heard in a year. It was pretty cool, because I found that I still knew all of the words, so I got to sing along with the radio. It made me happy.

Another thing that made me happy was when I was falling asleep, I turned off my movie & put the radio on instead. As I did, I'll Be by Edwin McCain was playing. I love that song!! So I went to sleep happy.

That was pretty much my day. Nothing really exciting has happened, and I don't know of anything exciting in the future, except for maybe later on during the week. Maybe.

I think the most interesting part of my school day was during Theatre. I spent the entire class period talking to Lance. We were discussing our Student Direct scripts, what we wanted to major in, colleges, plans for future, inspirations, and writings. Ah, the joys of a great conversation.

Anyhoo, I guess I'm going to go and get ready for bed. G'night & sweet dreams, dears. <3

-amylamoine

LYRICS:

Oh, no, no, no, no, no...

When you feel it in your body
You found somebody who makes you change your ways
Like hanging with your crew
Said you act like you're ready
But you don't really know
And everything in your past - you wanna let it go

I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Nobody wants to be alone
If you're touched by the words in this song
Then baby...

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad

When you say that you love 'em
And you really know
Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more
Like my money, all my cars
(You can have it all back)
Flowers, cards and candy
(I do it just cause I'm...)
Said I'm fortunate to have you girl
I want you to know
I really adore you
All my people who know what's going on
Look at your mate, help me sing my song
Tell her I'm your man, you're my girl
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world
Ladies say I'm your girl, you're my man
Promise to love you the best I can

See I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Everyone of y'all are just like me
It's too bad that you can't see
That you got it bad...hey

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad

breakdown

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad
        --U Got it Bad by Usher ((First dance song. Ah, the memories.))

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

[Repeat Chorus]

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

[Repeat Chorus]
        --I'll Be by Edwin McCain ((Mm. More warm and fuzzy feelings.))

I miss you. <3

Currently Watching Beauty and the Beast (Disney) By Robby Benson, Paige O'Hara see related

So I have created a new Xanga like I wanted to. The name?

IwillwakeupHappy

I don't know if I'm switching over RIGHT NOW like I have in the past; I may drift into it slowly, but that's it. It's good to know that it's not quite so depressing as this one. But yeah, that's the new one. It's based off of a Sophie B. Hawkins song, if you wondered. I decided not to put poems into the title like I did for this one. ((In case you never knew, "and still goes on her pain" is the last line of my poem "Forever." See the first entry for complete poem.))

Well, that's that. I'm thinking I might keep on with this one for a while more, but I'll keep you guys updated. ttfn, lovelies. <3

*Edit*

You know what? People really piss me off sometimes, even if I don't have any right or any business being upset with them/over the things they say ((or do)). UGH. I hate not being able to say anything when all I want to do is scream. I hate how some people treat other people and I hate how they act when things don't go their way. How can people do the things they do? How can people say the things they say? I hate how hypocritical people can be. I hate the raw selfishness that is blatantly obvious in others. I hate the things that people say about other people after the other person has done SO MUCH for them. I hate it when people have friends that they don't deserve at all. I hate how people get "significant others" that they don't deserve. I hate how people can treat everyone around them like crap just because they did something wrong and are looking for someone else to blame. I hate it when people can't own up to their mistakes and say, "I'm sorry." I hate it when people just don't see how much damage they do. I really freaking hate people sometimes. GAH. All I want right now is to scream at the top of my lungs. I don't even know what I want to scream; I don't think it really matters. I probably shouldn't be putting anything in here, but what the hell? Venting will help me calm down. At least a little bit. I don't know when I've been so mad. I know I'm not in a position to interject, but sometimes things just hit close to home and the protective, possessive defenses come out in me. Maybe I have no right in being pissed, but sometimes people have no right in saying the BS that they do.

*Breathes* My hands are shaking and I'm still mad, but I've calmed down some. And I'm proud of myself: I didn't really cuss in that, even though I wanted to really badly. Yay Amy! On the other hand? Sometimes amazing things happen to people through other people's mistakes. Or at least, what one knows to be one of the biggest mistakes they could ever make, even if the other person doesn't know it. *Considers* I think I'm going to go watch another Disney movie. I've already seen The Little Mermaid and I'm thinking that Beauty & the Beast is the one that's going to help me the most here. I love therapeutic movies! Mm. Hooray for movies that stand for something in my heart. <3

-amylamoine

I miss you. <3

Currently Watching Constantine (Widescreen Edition) By Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou see related

How amazing. Mm, so happy. This weekend so far has been incredible. Friends, mums, pretty dresses, flowers, cooler weather, football games, not falling completely apart during halftime, drumline mosh pits, movies, sleep, breakfast, pictures, talking, laughing, and general, absolute happiness. I'm sorry, but you just can't beat this stuff!! I mean..Wow. This is great. I am so happy.

My weekend in a "Not-quite-so-Vague" summary? Actually having a Homecoming date this year, I got to wear a pretty dress AND I got a mum((With awesome bears complete with Marching band uniforms AND shakos!!)). my Morgan picked me up after school and I was surprised with flowers. When I got back to Trinity, I got dressed and we went to the game. We ended up beating Nimitz 48-21, but not before a scary first quarter. After the game, I changed into street-clothes, and my Morgan picked me up, we got Sonic, and went back to his house. I talked to his mommy for awhile, then she went to bed and Morgan & I watched Constantine. Later, I kicked Morgan onto the couch and slept in his room with his dog ((Who loves me more, by the way. )). I woke up around 10ish; my Morgan, his mommy and I all chatted together and ate breakfast. It was really nice, because I haven't really had a proper breakfast like that in I don't know how long. I got back home at 11:45, took a shower, messed around, and got stuff together for the contest. At 4:15 or so, I got picked up and my Morgan & I went to Barnes & Noble for an hour or two. Once through, we ran to Wendy's so I could eat before band, and he dropped me off at the Band hall. We did a couple run-throughs, got dressed, loaded buses, and went to Pennington. At 9:45 the Trinity band marched on field and did an exhibition for the H-E-B Marching Contest. ((Side Note: Was it just me or where there A LOT of people there??)) I'm not sure exactly how we did, but I guess it was alright. It was too bad it wasn't cooler like the game. Then it was back to the Band hall to change & then go home, take another shower, and get online for pointless reasons ((Or lack thereof)). And now, it's REALLY time for the Amy to go to bed, because she's rambling and losing her typing/spelling capabilities. So g'night & sweet dreams to you all. I hope your weekend was good.

We're DEFINITELY doing that again sometime. <3

-amylamoine

"Fwowers?" Yes, I think so, because:  Flowers + my Morgan = a happy Amy

And these are a few pictures of my mum. HOPEFULLY I'll end up with a few more picture of Homecoming, but I don't know how well Sue's turned out. But here.

LYRICS:

if there were no words
no way to speak
i would still hear you
if there were no tears
no way to feel inside
i'd still feel for you

and even if the sun refused to shine
even if romance ran out of rhyme
you wuld still have my heart until the end of time
you're all i need, my love, my Valentine.

all of my life
i have been waiting for
all you give to me
you've opened my eyes
and shown me how to love unselfishly

i've dreamed of this a thousand times before
in my dreams i couldn't love you more
i will give you my heart
until the end of time
you're all i need, my love, my Valentine

and even if the sun refused to shine
even if romance ran out of rhyme
you would still have my heart until the end of time
'cause all i need is you, my Valentine
you're all i need, my love, my Valentine
        --Valentine by Martina McBride

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
        --To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks

So happy. <3